Hey Gang! Welcome to my life, where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host – coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia. (You have no idea how true and strange that is.)
Welcome To My Life is a project, an experiment in life and ART. A living storyboard, if you will. Its premise is that life is experiential and that you can and do experience the life you choose. It is based on the use of The Wheel of Life and the ARTS for the new millennium as life building tools.
Welcome To My Life is an I TV Studios/Geist…House production. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a shout out to the following for their ongoing, and oft times, unknowing inspiration and support:
Princess Cuddlebug
Princess Sunshine
The Shaman
The Pillar
FaeriePrincess
The Messengers of The Galactic Federation
Berton
Dred
Van the Man
Craze & Co.
The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan
The Man in The Hat
DancingQueen
Encyclopedia Brown
Mama Rabbit
And, of course, a very generous sponsor who wishes to remain anonymous.
What is goin’ on? It is Sunday, November 08, 2009. Time…parallel. I told you I’d be interested in seeing how I felt when today rolled around. Well….I feel intrigued…inspired…interested…incontinent…wait…no.
The week was rather appealing if you ask me. It had its ups and downs, just like any other week. As usual, I struggle to find all the right or best words. Mid-week was the hardest for me. I just felt lost and disconnected. I’m still feeling a bit of the disconnect but I feel I am at least headed in the right direction as of now. I’m hoping that within the next few days I can find that connection again. I think it is the most important part of my journey right now. Interesting, though, that the disconnect would also come at the same time as my biggest moments of doubt.
So what did this week bring?
Well, I managed to pay for another week at the motel and I managed to make enough money to pay for one more week. I did a video job on Thursday night which is almost complete. I had an interesting night out (which was actually the video job.) I scheduled two dinners with friends for this coming week. (I love that because that always means one…or in this case two meals that I don’t have to think about.) I went hunting for a publishing agent. Yup, that’s what I said. But that is an adventure for another time I think. I visited with one of my new found friends. We had breakfast and some fun chat. I hung out with some friends and had pizza and played Tekken 6. That made for a great night. I completed phase one of a job interview and go back for phase two this week. I also got signed up for orientation at another job and filled out the paper work to return to my old job. Quite frankly, it is a matter of timing at this point. As far as I can tell, whoever comes back with the best offers wins. In one scenario I am working two full time jobs with some flexibility to pursue other options when needed. In the other I am working one full time job, making just as much as the two jobs but with a lot less flexibility. I also am not so sure how much I will like the one job with the greater pay. But then I could look at it as temporary…a stepping stone. It would at least set me straight for a few months and I could pursue some other things in the evenings and on weekends. So we shall see.
Of course, I saw my daughters. I actually spent a lot more time with them than I was originally anticipating. It was awesome though. We had very good times together. It was so much fun to see them running around and playing and being silly…and even being sad from time to time. Once again, when it was time to leave, Makayla cried a lot. She even asked Mama why she “had to move away from daddy? Why did you?” Mama said that she didn’t “know how to” answer Makayla’s questions. I told her that she had to answer them honestly. Actually the whole scene was kind of odd. Actually, the whole weekend was kind of odd. First of all, spending as much time as I did at my parents’ was strange and somewhat uncomfortable. I mean, it verified and validated some things for me. I find it interesting that in two weeks time my mother has not once stopped to ask me how I am or how things are going. We’ve had superficial conversations but never has she expressed concern for me. But, I suppose that is neither here nor there. I thanked her for everything when I left today. But then Mama came to pick up the girls and Makayla asked to stay and play on the play set for a while. So there we were – Me, Makayla, Nyssa and Mama – all hanging out together. But anyway, on with the show…
Observation of the Week: I Laugh!
It’s true. I do. It’s not so much that I laugh but when and at what. I have noticed that when something strikes a spiritual chord with me I have an uncontrollable chuckle that blurts forth. I used to notice it with the Shaman. Then last week I was with some friends having a spiritually based conversation and they said a couple of things that elicited my tittering response. But tonight I sat down to read The Secret and within the first several pages it had happened several times.
Talk about a built in method of validation! And it’s not even a subtle laugh really. Oft times it is a deep down guttural laugh.
Lesson of the Week: You Always Have What You Need…Even If It’s Not Much
Someone pointed this out to me this week. No matter what else I could say about my life and how I am living right now, I can honestly say that, thus far, at every turn I have had what I needed when I needed it. Whether it has been money or equipment or time it has been there and available for me.
I had that video gig this past Thursday. It turned out that I have all of my equipment to get the job done – my camera, the laptop/software, discs and cases. More interesting is the disc count doubled from ten to twenty and I have all of them and then some. I was concerned that this would limit me as far as what I could get off the computer because I wanted to use some of these discs to clear off the videos on my hard drives. However, I not only have enough DVD-Rs, I also found a small stock of DVD-RWs. I also have enough to do the job this Tuesday.
Then I had this wedding project sitting on my desk for months and, though I had originally thought otherwise, I have all of the equipment to do that as well.
Money has been coming in a bit at a time.
Here’s what I have noticed most of all. In any given case what I needed hasn’t appeared until I actually needed it or just immediately prior.
And, finally…
Theme of the Week: Learn to Listen!
I only have one example of this right now.
I was supposed to go to someone’s house and do some odd jobs on Friday morning. I knew already Thursday night, as I drove home at midnight, that I wouldn’t want to go in the morning. When I awoke I thought about calling her and putting it off until tomorrow. Well, anyway, I picked myself up and forced myself to go. When I arrived she suggested that we put it off until tomorrow because the weather is supposed to be nicer. She even thought about calling me and suggesting it but didn’t.
Imagine if one of us would have listened. My Friday would have been entirely different.
Well that’s about it for this week,
I have a dinner coming up tomorrow. An interview and the dual wedding job on Tuesday. Thursday night is an orientation. Wednesday is marked on my calendar. Friday starts the weekend with the girls again. I think this weekend I am going to try to take them to the Art Museum again. They seemed to enjoy it the last time around.
Also, I have decided that I am moving this week. I have been thinking about upgrading my Motel. The one I am in is far from nice. I mean, I am sure there are worse ones out there and I am comfortable enough but I am feeling a need for more. There are several on this same strip that offer internet, continental breakfast, coffee makers, microwaves and fridges. I looked at one the other day. The room was a lot nicer and larger than what I am in now. It would let me keep everything neat and orderly. I was concerned about money but the more I look it over, the more I think it will balance out.
For instance, I buy about 3-4 coffees a day. There alone I could save $30-$40 a week. That’s half the price difference. Then when you think about food I could save even more. I mean, it wouldn’t be great but I could live off of Raman noodles for a while. Or peanut butter and jelly. Cereal. I mean let’s see if you calculate all that together I could probably spend about $40 a week on food and coffee and tea. I am spending about $140 now. So actually I would come out ahead. So next week I may be writing and submitting this all at the same time. (Instead of finding a Panera Bread parking lot to hide out in.)
Hey Gang! Welcome to my life, where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host – coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia.
Welcome To My Life is a project, an experiment in life and ART. Its premise is that life is experiential and that you can and do experience the life you choose. Welcome To My Life uses both the Wheel of Life and The ARTs for the New Millennium as life building tools.
Welcome To My Life is an I TV Studios/Geist…House production. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a “Shout-Out” to the following for their ongoing, and oft times, unknowing inspiration and support:
Princess Cuddlebug
Princess Sunshine
The Shaman
The Pillar
FaeriePrincess
The Entire Putt-Putt_Putter Clan
Mama Rabbit
Dred
Big Chris
JoJo
LCP
The Penn Foundation
Craze & Co.
DancingQueen
Encyclopedia Brown
“The Messengers of The Galactic Federation”
And, of course, a very generous sponsor who wishes to remain anonymous.
It is Sunday, November 1, 2009. Time…indiscernible.
What a very long and interesting 3 months. I’m sure there are plenty of folks who would like to know what happened and where I’ve been. The “where” is much easier to answer than the “what”. In fact, for the first time since beginning this project, I am not so sure I am going to get into the “what.” For now, let’s suffice it to say that life had come to a head and great change was needed. I was unable to recognize this or to know how to make it so and hence the Uni-verse helped me figure that out. I ended up in the wrong place at apparently the right time and ended up going to prison. This would not exactly be my first choice of a place to start life anew but it certainly did the trick.
For a little bit more detail I will tell you this: I got into a little scuffle and ended up being sentenced to 90-180 days for two counts of harassment. I spent 67 days in prison and from there they sent me to a “recovery center” (rehab) for my 2 beer a week habit. Also I confessed to having smoked marijuana in the past. They kept for me two weeks and then decided that I did not have an alcohol or drug abuse problem. I left there Wednesday morning.
As I said though, this was a life reset. I had no place to go to live. I managed to find a little motel that I now call home. It is far…FAR from perfect…or is it?
I am having issues with things. More with the phrasing of things than anything else. I am suddenly in this mental space where I wish to not limit the Uni-verse. Actually, I am finding it hard in general to write because I am in limbo. So, for now I will move on and see if things begin to make a little more sense.
Lesson of the Week:
Take It Moment By Moment
Imagine that.We always hear the phrase, “One day at a time,” or, “Take it day by day.” But, imagine for a moment, if you will, breaking it down further than that and taking it only moment by moment.Since August 2 nothing has gone the way I had planned, hoped or been told that it would. And, despite any let downs or troubling moments, I cannot complain about things.
I can take just this past week and break it down moment by moment. That alone stresses the importance of this lesson. But then, if I get into the larger picture, the broader scope, the grander story of things it stresses it even more so.
There is a double meaning to this lesson though.In fact there may be more than two. The first is obvious – take each moment as it comes. Take it for what it is and be grateful for it. Live it as fully as you can, even if it is what one may consider a bad moment.
Then there is the second approach to this statement. Take this moment, the now, as the only moment there is. Do not dwell on the past, nor try to project the future. Merely stay in the now and make the most of it.If we dwell on the past we begin to judge ourselves or our lives and if we try to project the future we blind ourselves with too many possibilities. The only thing constant is change and life is changing constantly.
So what does this moment hold for me? I am sitting in a small motel room. I am currently unemployed, but catering several options.I know very little beyond now. …
…grrr….arrrgh….I have so many thoughts and so few words. This is a problem I have been having for some time now. I don’t know what to say. Or, how to say it.
Life is perfect…perhaps that is my Observation of the Week.
Imagine that. Imagine living in a tiny motel room, with no job, so many unknowns about the path before you and actually observing and believing that life is perfect.
Despite any complaints or worries that I could voice I do have all that I need for the now. And since the now is all there is, how could life be anything less than perfect? I mean, there are lots of challenges before me, but as this past week has shown, if I just take it moment by moment then things will work out.
Taking it moment by moment is no easy task. It requires not forcing things but to allow each moment to unfold naturally as it was designed to do. It’s when we try to manipulate the moments that we find mayhem.
I awoke this morning feeling kind of down and blue. I awoke with all of those questions in my mind. The questions that one in my position may generally ask…how? Why? When? What?
I chose not to dwell in those thoughts though. Instead I got up and got to my day. I brushed myself off, patted myself on the back and walked up the road for a morning cup of coffee and today’s paper.I came back and settled in to the day. Today, this moment, seems to be a day of reconnect. A day of truly starting over.
I looked through the classifieds and found what I was looking for. Or at least what I believe I was looking for in this moment.
I cleaned and straightened up the motel room a little bit. I have been doing more and more of this as the days go by – just trying to get settled in to what appears to be my home for at least the next several weeks if not the next several months. Everything is finding a place and a purpose and I am actually quite comfortable.
I also zoned out into a bit of meditation around noon time.Now I am working on this. Later on who knows what I will do. Other than watch the Series.
If you think “Life Is Perfect” would be a hard pill to swallow under my circumstances try the Theme of the Week:
Just Kick Back and Enjoy The Ride.
Whoa! (At least I think that that is the theme of the week.) It is a message delivered to me through some people I am quickly beginning to consider dear friends.It seems incredible. I mean the point they were making was large – do not worry about anything. Do not worry about where I am living or where I will work or how I will make money. Just sit back take it moment by moment, accept life as perfect and enjoy the ride. It could turn out to be quite an amazing one.
I want to tell the story but I am not quite sure exactly how to do that.There are so many details. So many twists and turns.And, though the beginning explains how I got here, it is the end that sums up all of this week’s lessons, themes and observations.
The week has been a roller coaster ride. On Monday morning my counselor told me that I would be released from rehab on Wednesday.
On Tuesday morning the friend I was supposed to be staying with called my counselor and told her that was a no go. Only, for parole reasons I needed an address at which to live. I spent all day on the phone on Tuesday until I came up with this motel. Only they wouldn’t guarantee me the room over the phone. If it was here when I got here great. If not, then too bad for me.
Wednesday morning came and I left rehab with, from what I knew, a little over $400 to my name. The room costs $175 a week. So, I knew I could cover one week and I was supposed to be able to go back to Wendy’s for employment. (This was a job I had started just before the shit hit the fan in an attempt to get caught up and make ends meet.)My plans when I left rehab were to come to the motel and get checked in, then off to the probation officer to check in and then to Wendy’s to take care of those details.
Getting checked in was the easiest part of my day. Probation went well but I needed to return on Friday to meet my actual P.O. and to submit urine. However, they told me that I have parole until November 3 and then probation until February 2. I was under the impression that I had parole until February 2 and then probation until May 3. But then why should I be surprised. I was also under the impression that I wasn’t eligible for parole until November 3 – yet here I am. And, here I have been for four days already.
So off to Wendy’s I went. Once I got there the manager on duty explained to me that I just needed to submit a new application and the General Manager would give me a call. Seemed simple enough.
From there I went to my parents’ to gather up some stuff. That was an interesting hour or so.I gathered as much as I could – some books, clothes, stones, my laptop, etc. It surprised me how quickly and easily my family had packed up all of my stuff and tried to erase my existence from their home.
I stopped to see my spiritual teacher before returning to the motel. I received some reassurance there that things are ok and as they are supposed to be.
“The beginning of your new life,” he said to me. That’s interesting; I have documented a meditation that said November would begin a whole new life for me.
I came back to the room and unpacked as best I could. Then Wednesday night a friend took me to dinner. He also asked for a Tarot reading. Out one day and doing some work. Hmm?
Thursday rolled around and I checked back in with Wendy’s. Apparently because of the arrest the franchise HR Department would like to run a background check, something that I need to sign a paper to allow them to do. No big deal.I didn’t know what else to do with my day on Thursday so I went and did some laundry. I went to the mall and chilled out, also tapped into some free internet and filled out one and a half applications. Thursday night I went to a friend’s to hang out and he fed me dinner.I also contacted Mama about seeing the girls on Saturday since it was in the custody agreement that I would get them for some time on Halloween. She resisted at first but finally agreed to let me see them for four hours after Makayla’s dance class. And, finally, I took care of some business.I contacted a client who has a wedding scheduled for next Tuesday. Not only would they like me to officiate the wedding but they would also like me to make a video of it. Then I contacted another client to discuss a project that I have on hold for her.
Friday I went to my parole appointment. I did my urine but there wasn’t a P.O. to meet with and I was instructed to report back next Friday if I haven’t seen or heard from one before then. Well, that blew up a whole lot of plans. I had a list of questions I had wanted to ask so that I knew exactly what rules I was playing by. I need their permission to move so until I hear from them I can’t even think of going someplace else. Also, I wanted, or was hoping for clarification on the exact end date of things.
From there I went to Wendy’s only to discover that the paper hadn’t arrived for me to sign. In fact, as far as I know it still hasn’t and even when it does it will take a week to get a report back. From there I went to a family friend’s originally intending to ask for a place to stay. Only when the moment came I couldn’t bring myself to do it. However, she offered to have me come back this week and do some work for her and she would pay me for it.
Then off to two places to fill out applications. One was recommended by a friend because he works there and his brother manages. I am expecting to hear something from them tomorrow. The other is a large manufacturing plant in the area that is planning on a large hire soon but that will take four weeks to process.
Then off to the bank to withdraw the money I need for next week’s room rental just so that I could guarantee that I have it. I hung out in the van for a while, reading and working on the laptop. Then to my friends’. This turned out to be the most empowering part of my day. They had a lot of good things to share with me as well as a video job for Thursday night. Then to dinner with another couple of friends.
What intrigues me about this is that I just happen to have all of the equipment and resources that I need to do these jobs. I have video software on the lap top and I only need one camera so I will use the Panasonic which records on an HDSC card, which of course there is a slot for on the laptop. So I just need to show up, plug in and run.
Saturday I went to Makayla’s dance class. This was the first time that Mama and I spent any kind of time around each other since she left, especially with the girls. Nyssa was all over me and at one point said, “I really missed you.” I saw Mama’s head turn on that one but I just let it go. So we went to my parents’ and played a little and watched a Barbie movie. Then we went to Wendy’s for lunch and frostys (Still no paper…lol.) After the girls were gone I texted mama about having them for dinner on Tuesday and she actually offered to let me have them for 4 hours instead of the 3 that it used to be.Also, at my parents’ I managed to pick up some more stuff to help make my stay where I am a little more tolerable and enjoyable. (After all, I am supposed to just sit back and enjoy the ride.)
Here’s what’s interesting. As I sit here right now I realize that in the last four days I managed to find or manifest $226. Despite what I have spent I still have $396 to my name and in the next 9 days I know I will make at least another $160. That may not be a lot but it is enough to guarantee this room for two more weeks and still survive a little bit.
I have plenty to work on in any free time – such as night time when I am sitting around the room alone. And I have enough to keep me busy for a few days between odd jobs, visiting the girls, job hunting and trying to find other ways to make some money –such as some scrap metal I know I have laying around.
I still have a lot of details to work out but for my first week out I am satisfied with the results. I just need to keep my head clear and stay on target and it will all balance out. In fact, I am quite interested in seeing what my report looks like at this time next week. I feel I am in for some surprises this week.
I know that I didn’t tell a lot of the back story, nor did I answer the question, “Well, what happened?” But, rest assured, that will come.For now I am going to sign off and get to my organizer so I can see what this week looks like.
I will post this sometime tomorrow, when I have the opportunity to hit some internet somewhere.
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It is Tuesday, July 07, 2009…Time – ch…ch…changing
As I said, I wanted to revert to a page theme that would allow all of my formatting efforts to show. And so, here we are. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it. The formatting may change a bit as we move forward in an attempt to make it all more readable. We shall see.
Also, some of the “notes,” defining things, will slowly disappear. So do try to follow along. (j/k)
We are listening to WMUH – Muhlenberg College, Allentown , PA…the only station that matters. http://www.muhlenberg.edu/wmuh/
Wow…what a very…very interesting week. For me anyway. I’m not even sure where to begin.
This was my last day with the girls until next Tuesday. MamaRabbit is taking them for vacation this week. I will call them, but I will miss them. However…dinner next Tuesday and then I get them Friday for my weekend and then another week of vacation myself. I’m still not sure exactly how that is going to go because I have to actually do some work that week. And I don’t know what kind of resources I am going to have to do things with them. Only time will tell, I suppose.
The job (jobs? Work?) is going well.
Things with the family are….well…as they always are.
Lammas has come (and is now going.) It was quite interesting really. I took Thursday as a day of celebration – decided on a lil extra road trip on my way to The Outlaws’ show. That was quite interesting and something I will be repeating very soon. VERY soon.
Currently, I am gearing up for what appears to be a very interesting August. I have a week of work (all jobs), then a week off, then a week off with the girls, then back to work. I picked up a new video gig, doing a DVD/CD combo like I have been doing for the Outlaws and am working on snagging a wedding job for early September. I have been scheduling some I.C. work and am starting to feel the burn for a lil ministry/healing.
At the end of August there is a community yard sale and the second Saturday in September, a flea market. These are bringing with them quite a bit of work and a few other projects as well. I am clearing everything out – going through it piece by piece. And, along the way, I am doing a bit of reorganizing.
Theme of the Week:
Relax. God (The Divine) Is In Charge.
This was a bumper sticker on a van in front of me as I headed off to do my I.C. work today. The message, as usual, was well timed. Just before leaving the house today, The Big ‘D’ and I had a mini go-round.A lot of the usual, including the threat that if I don’t “keep myself in line” all it takes is one phone call to haul me out of here. Of all the ridiculousness I have had to tolerate, this is probably the most tiring and frustrating. Now everytime I upset someone, instead of just the reminder/threat that they could kick me out at any time they please, it has excalated to them calling the police to take me out of here. What did I say last week? Evil preys on fear and weakness.
Unfortunately for her, I am far from weak these days. It wasn’t a big blow-out. It started over the fact that she and MamaRabbit decided that she was taking the girls home today, because they assumed I would be unable to. Though I can understand why they would assume that, why wouldn’t someone verify it with me before making plans and decisions? Especially her since she knows how much it bugs me when she makes plans and decisions that concern me without talking to me first. Oh wait! She just doesn’t care.Hmmm?
So that brewed a bit, I had my say and went on my way. As I was driving I was a bit frustrated and wondering why we keep going through this. Then I saw the sign (quite literally.)
So, then, what was the point to the exercise?
I don’t know. But I came up with a few guesses. First, it once again helps me understand the pettiness and ridiculousness of it all. I mean as soon as I got firm in letting her know I was unhappy, out came the threat.
“You better just settle down right now…all it takes is one phone call to have you removed from here.”
I also took notice to another recurring pattern. I mention current issues, or recent ones, that are bothering me and they drudge up all sorts of nonsense from the past…years ago even. All the jobs I haven’t kept. All the “friends” who don’t talk to me anymore.
In fact, today, I mentioned her going through my stuff a few weeks back and she compared that to me opening their bedroom shades while they were away on vacation. (Which was at least two years ago, because she mentioned Jessi’s name as well.) So, ok, perhaps entering their personal sanctuary is wrong, but I didn’t go through anything. I opened shades to let some light and air into their room. I do this because they never let light or air into the house. If I didn’t spend so much time downstairs it would be the same down here. But I figure they gave up that fight. Maybe it’s none of my business and not my concern. However, for ten years my mother has griped about the same “issues” in her life. She has searched for the metaphysical answers to her questions. For ten years I have not only offered up solutions but explained that that was the whole purpose to my being here. Needless to say, I am shut down for ten years. I have nothing to offer them and they don’t want any help from me. Yet, I know it is my commitment to Spirit. It always has been part of the vision. (I believe that has come up recently as well – the vision never changes.) So, when opportunity allows I try to sneak in a lil goodness. I mean energetically speaking there is such a difference between their two rooms and the rest of the house (which I influence greatly.) I do not so much consider it intrusion as I compare it to Santa coming down the chimney on Christmas Eve…or The Shoemaker’s Elves. Sometimes Divinity has to sneak it in because we are so unwilling to accept it openly.(Gee…that could have been a them, lesson or observation…hmmm.)
And, of course, the court date got mentioned. They are all fired up about this. I think it is interesting because they see it as me attacking them. We are going to court so I can attack them. No! We are going to court because Tara called the cops who slapped me with a harassment charge and we are going to court because I am defending me.
And on that date, the story will read much like the one I just wrote. I voiced my gripes and aggrivations. I let it be known what was bothering me. Dad didn’t like it and I started to get a whole lot of “Oh Bullshit!” “You’re an asshole!” and “You’re pathetic.”
All of this, because I was once again letting it be known that I don’t want them disciplining my daughters when I am present. I think it diminishes the hierarchy of things, it disrupts the disciplinary procedure I have in place with my daughters and I don’t like the way my mother handles discipline. I think that is all fair and rational enough.
Nonetheless, I digress.
So The Divine is in charge.
I began to turn that over more and more in my mind. How else did I see that manifest this week.
In so many ways.
The two flea market/yard sales. Not only are they both perfectly timed on weekends that I don’t have my daughters, but they are both very accessible. In fact, just the other day as I was going through my list of things to do I thought of the one and how I needed to contact them to reserve a space. That day in the mail I received another reminder with the contact information.
On my mini-quest I came upon many interesting things. The area I went to is comprised of several small towns, each a few miles apart. So you have life, then farm, then life, then farm. It’s not very unlike the Valley, only more spread out. Here all the towns kind of run right into each other. There the boundaries are very distinct.
I stumbled across some interesting Real Estate.
Yes. I still am fascinated by Real Estate investment even though I am far from being able to do anything about it. But I am constantly looking at properties and areas and seeing what could be.
I also connected with a perspective business associate. I randomly stopped in at a bridal store while I was there. Or it randomly stumbled on top of me. I’m not sure which yet.
The trip was very well laid out even though I personally put no planning into it. I stumbled upon the real estate, then the redevelopment association, then this person who seemed to have all the answers…and connections. (Follow the Spirit, I suppose.)
I noticed other little validations this week as well.
I just looked at my table saw and noticed it needed a new blade when someone comes along and gives me another table saw with a brand new blade in it. (Guess what is getting sold. LOL.)
For two weeks I have been searching for something. Something that I could have really used on my mini quest. Guess what I found just before leaving…yup!
Before anything happened this morning, Makayla and I were flipping through the channels and who did we come across? None other than Osteen , The Son. His message this week was on being a healer and how we can pour healing energy into everyone we meet. Interestingly enough, one of his points was that those people who are in your life that put you down and criticize you constantly are there for you to pour healing energy into. How interesting considering what came next. And I did think about this all day long.
How does one pour healing into a situation, or a person, that wishes to have none?
Observation of the Week:
Let It Out
Whatever it is – feelings, frustrations, confusions, confessions, creations….Let it out. Doing anything else will only dam up the works and make it more difficult for you to function.
And then, eventually, the dam breaks. Everything comes rolling out, sometimes…usually, in a very destructive manner. Look at this morning. As I said, the things I mentioned to my mother were all things that I have been keeping inside for weeks like her going through my stuff or sneaking off to Makayla’s birthday party at MamaRabbit’s. And then…BOOM!
The more I create, whether it be crafts or my life, the easier it becomes. The more of it that happens. The better the flow.
So just let it all out.
Lesson of the Week:
Even If You Lose your Way…Keep Going
Something will put you back on track...and you never know what you’ll discover along the way.
I have had some of my most life changing experiences while “lost.” And besides, what’s the point in sitting still and going to waste. Better to something aimlessly than aim to do nothing at all.
Well I think that’s all the news that is the news for this week.
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Hey, Gang! Welcome to my life…
(Dr. Hans Franz von Lichtenschteiner VO: )
Velcum to my life iz a prochect. Un experiment in Life unt ART. It’s premise iz zat life ees experimental unt zat ve do experience ze life ve chooze. It is based on ze use of ze Vheel of Life unt ze ARTs for ze New Millennium as life building tools….
…Where Anything…
(Echo Effect : )
”Anything…Anything…”
…is possible and Nothing…
(Echo Effect: )
“Nothing…Nothing…”
…is as it seems. I’m Freedom and I’ll be your host.Coming at you from within…
(Heavenly VO: )
The depths of Geistopia
Ahhh
(Walt VO: )
Welcome to my life is an I TV Studios/Geist…House Production. JustUs Productions would like to give a “Shout-Out” to the following for their ongoing and, oft times, unknowing inspiration and support:
Princess Cuddlebug
Princess Sunshine
The Shaman
The Pillar
The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter clan
FaeriePrincess
Craze & Co.ft. The Big ‘D’ and Tara-ra-ra Boom-dee-ay
Piz
G-Man
Zason the Neo-Pagan
The Center for Creative Inspirationalism
“The Crew”
And, of course, a very generous sponsor who no longer wishes to remain anonymous…
Hey, gang! Welcome to my life, where anything is possible and nothing is as it seems. I'm Freedom and I'll be your host, coming at you from within the depths of Geistopia.
Welcome to my Life is a project, an experiment in life and ART. A living storyboard, if you will. It's premise is that life is experiential and that you can AND do experience the life you choose. It is based in the use of the Wheel of Life and the ARTs for the New Millennium as life building tools.
Welcome to my Life is an I TV Studios/Geist...House production. JustUs Productions, the parent company, would like to give a "Shout-Out" to the followiing for their ongoing, and oft times unknowing, inspiration and support:
Princess Cuddlebug
Princess Sunshine
The Shaman
The Pillar
The Entire Putt-Putt-Putter Clan
FaeriePrincess
The G-Man
Piz
Berton
Sir Thomas
Mari, Mari - Quite Contrary
The Ziatonic Antagonist
Otto
Osteen, The Son
Craze & Co.
The Big 'D'
And, of course, a very generous sponsor who wishes to remain anonymous
(thought I would try it again...just for fun!)
It is Sunday, July 26, 2009. Time...reverting.
What is goin on?
Music for tonight...who else...91.7 WMUH, Muhlenberg College, Allentown, PA (The ONLY station that matters!)
I feel all out of sorts. It's been a while since I have done a post and the last one didn't quite go as I had planned. What you didn't see on your end was that I took a step back to the basics and had done all sorts of formatting. Unfortunately, with my current background and such it did not show. So, I will eventually have to go and see if I can change it to something that will show the formatting...because the formatting is fun.
I put in my first full week this week. It was rough! It put me all out of sorts. It's weird getting up that early and being to work at 6:30 AM. It also put me behind on things because I do tend to nap a bit when I get home. In between work and naps I have been...well...working.
It was a busy week across the board.
Monday night I had two readings, which I felt went well.
Tuesday I had the girls and they went with me to work. We had dinner and then we cut up and removed a tree that someone had knocked down on the property.
Wednesday I did two shops.
In between all of this I put out the rest of the order of CDs and DVDs that was due for Friday night.
Friday night sales did not go as well as hoped but it was decent. Enough to get the job done (or at least some of them.) It's going to take a while and some juggling, but with the current financial momentum I should be able to get back on track. (Estimated - Mid September, which would be right in line with what was foreseen.)
Theme of the Week: Prioritize
No matter how much you do, you can really never do enough. So it is a matter of priority. What serves the best and greatest purpose in the moment. For me, this week, this took the form of both tasks and finances.
I did what I could this week as far as keeping up with work, but I still didn't feel like I could do enough. The weekend brought a bit of a reprieve from that. I was able to catch up quite a bit, even though I had the girls this weekend. I still have a list of tasks and projects ahead of me but this week should see some of them accomplished or at least a dent in them. As I said, this past week was mostly working. So I didn't get to keep up with things. In fact, the lawn didn't get mowed until today. Which I am glad of because the girls rode with me onthe riding mower. We got that part of the lawn done in an hour. What was really cute was that Nyssa fell asleep on my lap while we were mowing. Of course, this made things very difficult because she was nothing but a lot of flopping around dead weight.
So, this coming week, with things more in order from a work sense, I plan on getting caught up a bit on other tasks and duties. Getting things organized, cleaned up, etc. Next week, the girls are on vacation with Jessica, so i won't have them for dinner on Tuesday and I wouldn't have them for the weekend anyway, so hopefully I will be able to get more done that week.
The week after I am taking the week off of work to get the rest of it caught up. This includes the attic, the basement and the storage shed. There is a community yard sale the last Saturday in August and since I don't have the girls that weekend I think I would like to partake. This will help me clear out more junk and perhaps make a little extra cash. Also, I can try to sell more DVDs/CDs. There's another one in September but I don't know yet when.
Financially, my priorities were a little odd this week. Now that I have a "job" and a steady or predictable stream of income I am trying to get caught up with all of the bills I have not paid for the past three months or so.
So, I payed car insurance and one of my bills in full, bringing me up to date. Then I planned out paying half of the next one, possibly two. This leaves a few credit cards that I am less than concerned about at this point.
I am finally breaking down and ordering checks for my checking account. I have had it for about 6 months and have yet to order checks for it, due to lack of finances. I also put aside $50 to put as a down payment on taking the classes and test required to get my Real Estate license.
Several people have asked me why I would want to do this now. Well, the market may be down but it eventually turns around and no matter how bad the market is - people stillneed to buy and people still need to sell. And once I have it, I always have it. Besides, it came to me in passing one day and seemed like a calling. I have always had a passion for real estate. So...why not follow it?
I also pulled aside the share of sales money that I owe the Outlaws for July. I did not, however, pull aside the share of the sales money owed to ClenRoy and Diane. Funny (and slightly ironic) don't you think. I know this will not go over well, but quite frankly I do not care. I prioritized and they were at the bottom of the list. In fact, they will be at the bottom of the list for a while, until I get caught up and straightened out with everything else that I need to.
August 10th i need to pay 1/2 of 7 months worth of storage bills. (The other half due on September 10th and that will make me current. So in October it reverts back to the $99.) However, depending on how my yard saling and clearing out/or ganizing goes, by October I may not need a storage unit anymore.
Also on August 10th, I need to pay at least half of the Dell bill that I am behind on. The account is in Jessi's name and she has been quite frantic about it. Understandably, but more onthat later. I am waiting on a response to the request to pay half of it in August and half in September to bring me current. (Much like the storage bill.)
Somewhere in there I need to make sure I have money to do things with the girls on our second week of vacation and also pay them back the $60 that I owe them. (Makayla had given me permission to use her money if I had to. You may recall that from a few months ago.) Well, I had to. I had hoped to pay it out of this past Friday's sales but as I said, there just wasn't enough.
And somewhere between now and the last show in October I will have to pay clenRoy and Diane their share of the Crazy Elmer sales.
So it is the next two weeks that I am looking at the most right now. I just need to pull through and see what I can do. Who knows, perhaps a few readings or energy clients will come in. Perhaps I will find something on Craig's List. Whatever it is I will make it work.
I need to see what I end the night with on Thursday and that will determine how much I have to work with. I need to cover these bills and survive until at least the 11th (my birthday, FYI) on Thursday's sales and two nights of sales the weekend prior to the 10th. Then I get a full two weeks pay on the 10th.
I feel good about it. i feel like I can pull it off, but then I always think that and it doesn't always happen. LOL.
In other news...the girls and I went to see someone this weekend to learn more about Shiva. That was very interesting. Makayla didn't really pay attention and I had to repeat everything to her on the way home. (I guess it's good that I payed attention...lol.) We also received a poster of Shiva which no hangs on the inside of their bedroom door.
I had a few friends stop by on friday night. It was nice to socialize and I am planning to try it again on Sept 11th. (I know...odd date.)
I may have mentioned this before, but Jessi is pregnant. (I guess Mama Rabbit was a good nickname for her after all.) What I find most ammusing about this, and I have often wondered if it has crossed her mother's mind...I told her mom that she would be pregnant by spring and judging by the belly that has formed...she was. (We always know.)
Lesson of the Week: Suck it up
I really hate my job. I mean, it's not awful. I can tolerate it. But, it does mess with my groove quite a bit and the pay is certainly not extraordinary. It is doing something for me and I need to bear that in mind. (Or I will lose my mind.) It is only temporary...a means to an end.
I still don't like this visitation arrangement but right now there is nothing I can do about it. (As much as I would like to.)
And...
Observation of the Week: Evil preys on fear and weakness.
I find this in people. Anyone that has known me or been following along long enough knows that I do not believe in "Evil" spirits or demons or devils. To me, Evil is a conscious choice, something only man is capable of. As for spirits, demons and devils, they are as they are, created by divinity to serve the purpose that they fulfill. Anything of the Spirit realm can only do what it is designed to do and what we as humans give it power to do.
But mankind, mankind can choose.
I find this observation in the likes of Mama and the whole Craze & Co. gang.
When there is a fight in the house, Craze & Co. always reverts to demeaning me, preying on his perceived weaknesses. He mentions the friends that no longer speak to me. He talks about how he nor no one he knows can make any sense of my WTML stuff. He brings up whatever he can to make me weak and powerless and less than him. Big 'D' is just as bad, if not worse. She tells me how I can't support my daughters and how she's going to tell Jessi to not let them come here anymore. Everytime there is a fight this is what she tells me. (And yet, they tell me I shouldn't use the children as pawns.)
They prey on weakness and fear. that which they think will hurt me the most.
Jessi has been just as bad. When we went for the PFA she used everything she could to get it, including events 22 years old. A time when I didn't even know her. She misconstrued so many moments. And the custody affair was ten times worse. She used every weakness that she could exploit to take the girls from me.
And the Dell account, well, that has been an ongoing thing since December, long before I fell behind on the account. She has constantly threatened to come and take the computer, knowing it is how I do all of my work, from shops to video to the ministry and WTML.
This past week while debating the whole ordeal she made mention of her "credit being damaged because I had to buy toys." My response - "It wasn't a toy, it was a business investment. but then, you never did understand that."
I have done the same to them. Out of retaliation and defense I suppose. But still, just as wrong...just as evil.
And that brings me to my main man, Joel Osteen. I came across him this morning while flipping through channels for the irls. today he was talking about "badmouthing" people. talking ill about them. He spoke of how doing so only encourages the same to happen to you.
As usual, I found the message perfectly timed and one I am going to put into my awareness as I move forward. I do not like to speak ill of people. And, if I do, it is not to speak ill of them but to just vent frustration at a situation.
One last note: The new job has inspired me to a new business venture. I will report more on that as I put the details together. For now...
